The name says it all. No question is safe from the twisted minds of the internet. I'm looking for a really good turn out, so I want everyone to really let loose and give it their best. We're going for a bajillion gillion posts, so Attack Attack Attack!!!!!!! Take no prisoners!!!!
Now, to test your knowledge of physics. Extra Credit available for Vector diagram.
Q: If a Vertrulean Class Battlecruiser leaves Spaceport 9 headed towards Starpoint Gamma-Tau88 at warp factor 4, and a Bosconian Class Cargo vessel at warp factor 7 leaves Spaceport 5 headed towards Starpoint Theta-Sigma42, what will be their force of impact when they collide at Starpoint Delta-Xi09?
Trick question, they won't collide until they hit Starpoint Alpha-S20E.
If being dumb is a bad thing, why are all the richest people in the world idiots?
because people wanted brains in mint condition
where can you find the everglades
You can't, they're just another government conspiracy, like aliens, bigfoot, and Kevin Federline.
Why can't you wear normal shoes when you go bowling?
because that way they can steal your shoes
why would people steal shoes
A: Demon school dropouts looking for souls.
Q: So which demon school are you applying to?
Inunabe High School
where in the world is the bloody TV remote
I was in the study with the revolver.
How old is that tree?
A: Older than you, younger than Noah.
Q: Why not?
Because of your restraining order
How comes there's blood on the streets?
Because Hyatt decided to go for a morning jog. O.o
Why don't we all just stick a drinking straw up our poopers to eliminate the embarassing sound associated with farting? :lol: :lol: :lol:
Woooo! :exhail:
because then we wouldn't get a warning whistle
have you ever noticed when you milked the pig in the past that it's only got the one nipple and it never seems to produce much milk
:shock: Wow! Yeah, I've just noticed that yesterday. For the first time in over 321 years, I wanted a tall glass of delicious pig milk, but it was extremely difficult to obtain. I even hooked the pig up to a milking machine and turned up the suction power as far as it could go. All it really did was create a huge, perfectly rounded hicky-type mark on the pig's belly with plenty of high-pitched squealing sounds from said pig.
And the milk I did manage to get was only a mere thimble full. I was so sad that I cried all day.
Blasted one nippled pigs.... :cry:
Can you give me two tens for a five?
sure :: 10 Punches later :: thanks for the fiver
whats big and black and seems to go on forever
A: <Answer deleted by order of the PC Police>
Q: Where will the PC Police strike next?
A: In my dreams...
Q: What genre does the giraffe fear?
uhmmm..... The vomit genre? O.o
What's the last thing you did before reading this post?
eat a sandwich (mmm cheese and Pickled Onion)
Why do they make such nice sandwiches
A: In order to lull you into a false sense of security so that you don't notice the deli derigibles spying on you from above.
Q: Airplane food, I mean, am I right?
no simple as that
whats that thing over there
A: Time-Space
Q: Where is love?
second door to the left
are you Catholic or Protestant
Neither. I'm a megalomaniac bent on control of the world. :lol:
Shall I trim that extra long fingernail of yours?
A: Nah, I'll keep the deal-breaker
Q: What are you on?
A: The Giant Chair... FROM OUTER SPAAAAAAAAAACE
Q: Where did that earthquake come from?
A: Pinball go down the hoooooole, bye bye pinball!
Q: If Osaka marries Cleveland, what will their kids be named?
Fried Octopuss and Nasty.
What if it snowed in San Fransisco?
A: My heart would be cold.
Q: How will we survive?
with a packet of chocolate hob nobs
Hob Nob?
A: No, Hobgoblin, you're missing the lin.
Q: Why do you miss Lynn?
because I haven't got a Target anymore
How well do you take Arrows
Depends on which direction they point
What is that corpse doing on the floor..?
Oh...... that. >_>
That is..... WAS the vaccuum cleaner salesman. I made him a deal this morning that if he'd vacuum my entire home and then eat the entire contents of the vaccuum cleaner bag, I'd buy one of his machines. Unfortunately, he only ate half of the dirt and started choking violently and fell face first to the floor.
Guess he lost out on a sale today. :evilex:
Wanna help me throw him into the lake?
He's gonna smell if he stays here much longer.
I say we feed him to the unsuspecting masses as pies and pastry and make some money
would you like a pork pie :evilex:
A: I would like porkpie hat please.
Q: Where do you buy your toaster hats?
A: www.buy-some-toaster-hats.com, and please, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON'T FORGET THE HYPHENS!!!!!
Q: Is this going to be on the final?
A: No, the final is solely comprised of information we discussed in class on the days you were absent.
Q: Why is the system down?
Because the kombucha mushroom people are sitting around all day
Can a hit in the solar plexus cure hiccups..?
A: Yes, along with male pattern baldness, sucker punch a bald man today, he'll thank you for it!
Q: Who do I need to hit to get candy to come out?
*holds PinkBunny up to Railun*
Her. :P
Don't hit her too hard or else you'll have to glue her back together if she breaks!
Who do I have to kill to keep this house silent so I can get my voice recordings done for Eh-chan tonight? >_<
You don't have to kill, just bag and gag.
Why does Lord Il think that candy will come out of me if I'm hit?
because he thinks (and so does everyone else on this forum) your sweet
what does it take to get a cat off your computer
A: Block kitty porn sites
Q: How many people think Pink Bunny is really a guy irl?
A: lolz ther r no grlz on teh intarbut!1!
Q: This is not a question?
A: That depends on how you define a question. Some people define a question as "a sentence of inquiry that requires a reply". Others define it as "the act of eating a kazoo whilst standing on one's head and playing a cheeseburger". We like to call the former "realists" and the latter "those people with whom, when engaged in conversation, it is best to just smile and nod and then slowly back away before breaking into a full run".
In short, the answer is pi.
Q: Are there any aliens, time travelers, ESPers, or sliders here?
A: None of your friends are about right, so nope, none at all.
Q: Where are your friends now?
(Surely this'll be the necropost o' doom!)
A: er.... I...
.. I ate 'em. I ate 'em all.
And they were tasty too once I realized they'd be better BBQed first!
Q: If you ask a dog to shake hands with you, are you not giving the poor dog a complex? I mean, Jeebus H. tap-dancing Christ, the dog doesn't have hands!! :il_hahaha:
A: Yes, you are giving the dog a complex. And you like it.
Q: I taught a man to fish, but he just sits in a boat and gets drunk. What's the square root of 987,654,321?
A: 42, it's the answer of life!
Q: What's pure and rare and takes you there?
The censors won't allow me to mention it
My radiator doesn't emit radiation, is it broken..?
thats a very good question is no it isn't broken it's just made out of the wrong metal
what do you name a pig
A: Bacon.
Q: Who is the man that sold the world?
E^D
oh that was me
I'm sure you played cricket at Eton?
A: Could of been me but I don't remember because I drank a lot of beer that day.
Q: Where do the country roads go?
it looks like west virginia
how on earth do you get to sesame street
Through a wormhole in the center of Uzbekistan.
Where is Waldo?
^be hide you with a gun
-Why do you close your eye when we make love
A: Because that one's GLASS! IT FELL OUT! REMEMBER?!
Q: What did I wake up to, this morning? I've forgotten...
E^D
Quote from: E^D Crow on December 08, 2008, 08:05:37 PM
A: Because that one's GLASS! IT FELL OUT! REMEMBER?!
Q: What did I wake up to, this morning? I've forgotten...
E^D
A: The Tooth fairy... She took your golden teeth, and silver spoons...
Q: Who calibrated this bitch ..?
A: Your mom.
Q: Why does my toe hurt?
A: It went to Market.
Q:Why do fools fall in love?
A: Because love is a battlefield.
Q: What kind of tattoo should I get?
E^D
A: A picture of Brock Samson
Q: What lies behind the morning?
A: Another morning...
Q: Is that grass..? It looks like grass..! I think it's grass..! Do you think it's grass..?
A: No! It's moss, duh!
Q: How can I apply logical positivism to my everyday life?
E^D
A: By killing all the negative pessimists
Q: Is it a crime to rhyme ..?
the same people who help with Ms Spears touring schedule
why is she such a bitch
A: Because she can
Q: Why can't money buy you love?
because your in the wrong country (get the next plane to amsterdam then you'll be happy)
by the way you didn't say oh at the end of your question
^because jesus say not too
-Why do birds suddenly appear. Every time you are near?
^They only show up for you and others when spring is in the air
And the bald headed birds are whispering everywhere
When you see them walking southward in their dirty underwear
That's the Tennessee Bird Walk. (Chirp chirp!)
-How can a loser ever win?
A: By having a successful bowel movement.
Q: If the milk started smelling bad, why did the snow fall inside your shoes?
A: The calibration was off.
Q: Just who do you think I am?
E^D
A: dead flesh for 36 of my 37 zombie plans
Q: do you have a ticket
No. I have two.
Do you like Mudkipz?
^no like zombie mudkipz better
-Got any mewtwo
A: I did, but, well... Things happened.
Q: For whom do the bells toll?
E^D
A: Unfortunately for the inevitable Tax Man. >_<
Q: After inserting tab "A" into slot "B", shouldn't I get a letter "C" out of the deal?
A: You can only get C shells, and C gulls, by the C shore-C?
Q: What is a half wit better than?
A: A half wit is better then a Witless minion.
Q: Beef, chicken, or fish?
E^D
Beef.
How many pies have you eaten in your lifetime?
^Easy that is a boot to the head
-I leave everyone a lifetime supply of ice cream but what flavor is it
-Shouta-tan TH
I don't know but it's yellow so I am not touching it
did you know that time....is one our side
Yes, Time is on your side, and is always clobbered first with the dodgeball.
When is it time for tea?
A: In about... *looks intently at his watch*.... uhm... As soon as you come up with some good tea leaves to steep.
Q: When is it time for coffee?
when the beans are roasted I suppose
when will the beans be roasted?
^so as i get a coffee roasted all i have a love master 9000 from hyatt
-just wishes that she had a DVD player instead of a coffee can filled with gravel. Hey, Ilpalazzo, just who does a girl have to sell her unmentionables to to get some personal electronics around here?
:lordilsmile:
"Depends on the girl and depends upon the personal electronics"
:kabapu-1:
"Why does life just bore me so..?"
because your a boring person
Who ya gonna call
A: Cliché Busters! Ha! Got ya! =)
Q: Y'know that handkerchief I borrowed from you a few weeks ago? The same one you've kept in your coat pocket for these past two weeks?
A: Yeah keep it, it looks all crinkly now with strange marks on it
Q: Is that blood?
A: No, it's wine....
Q: What should I wear tomorrow?
A: well if your looking for the bum look then I should start with what you still have on from yesterday or what you got out of bed wearing and then by not having a shave will help
Q: If I'm Green who's blue?
Me and my depression
do you have any Zydrate?
no it's just the way my trousers hang
have you got the wind break
No, but it has a lovely bruise.
Why does the dawn break?
because it is fragile
have you found the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow
Yeah, but I spent it all on anime paraphernalia.
You hear the one about that guy, and that other guy, and how they went into that place and did that thing?
A: Yeah, and it was sooo funny when it happened!
Q: Will you still love me tomorrow?
E^D
yes and yes I was just saying that
are you stupid aswell as deaf
A: What?
Q: Why is the sky blue?
E^D
A: Because green was already taken
Q: Why is does night fall?
Because it spends all itself drinking.
Who just yelled?
A: He did.
Q: Why are we here?
E^D
I don't know but it might be due to the fact that someone had words with someone else and we just sorta ended up here
what is the 11th level of Hell which made Dante weep
A: It is the exact opposite of the 11th tier of Heaven, which made Dante laugh.
Q: Who goes there?
E^D
A: I am the Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end.
Q: Do you happen to have a cup of sugar I could borrow for a chocolate cake?
A: No because you cannot put sugar in a chocolate cake you need salt
Q: Wanna hug?
A: No, I want a hot coffee. Double cream, double sugar.
Q: You know the thing? With the stuff?
I know what you are mentioning and it is disgusting in fact you must be sealed away in a concrete box and dumped into the north sea for mentioning it you sick person
everything is fine and everything and absolutely no one is ill in the flight crew so quick question does anyone know how to fly a plane?
A: *jumps up* Me. Me! I know how!
It's as easy as... jumping out of a plane!
Q:
(\__/)
(='.'=) <---What is this abomination of nature!?? O.o
A: Tasty.
Q: Who watches the Watchmen?
E^D
A: Across.... It watches all.
Q: What is the point of watching falling sparrows?
A: so they don't dive bombed your car or you with crap
Q:was that to subtle?
A: No, but it was too subtle.
Q: What was discussed in the meeting, again?
E^D
A: that I was having a kitkat and you were going to forget what happened
Q: What would you call the last rites to an actors career