As a tribute to my roots and influences and how they helped shape my weird ass and also to kick this forum to see if anyone still logs in I am now announcing my weird ass idea here to see if anyone is willing to read and give me content feedback. (Grammar feedback is not needed as I have an editor minion to tell me how bad I am at that.)

I will tell you exactly NONE of the premise to get readers to tell me where they think the balance is on 'confusing on purpose' vs 'confusing because I'm bad at conveying ideas'. I am literally posting about it here on a lark because wow time flies and I still remember the short stints of support and positivity I got here because shits too rare on the internet.   

https://docs.google.com/document/d/10TuM6ztdyQitZnD3bh4WgOVNQ7bCFBbS2oTDSDwhO5k/edit?usp=sharing will be posting it on an actual site like tumbles or somethin when I feel I've gone from 'mostly done but paranoid and wanting beta reads' to 'done' 

I love ya'll and love that this forum still exists despite my complete lack of commitment to being on it more then once like....a decade. My goal is to become a mildly important writer and then bully people to pay more attention to the Excel Saga manga because I'm low key annoyed people only know about the anime and barely understand that. Also I just need to be able to write for a living to survive because I'm shit at everything else. Feel free to say hi on twitter @Meyeselph if you want to or act like to don't know me because I'm embarrassing.

No hard feelings Randamo. I went through a lot of people who couldn't find the time or couldn't fit the format before I found my current gig mostly on accident. Whatever happens happens. The good thing is that working with Brian has given me opportunity to get used to working in the format myself (lord knows no one is perfect at something the first time they do it) and given me contacts that will hopefully lead to me working with more artists in the future to explore many different ideas.

Here's hoping something of it leads to success. I'm not a writer yet IMO. You're only a writer when you get paid for it. Everyone else is just aspiring LOL.

Always imagined it as blonde, I dunno why but in black and white manga I always imagine any character who's hair isn't dark as blonde until official colored art corrects me.

Hello peoples. Meyeselph here. On again off again and completely disloyal member of the army.

Sorry for not being around that often (I wasn't here enough for anyone to miss me though so it isn't too bad of me) but I have to say that this forum is consistently remembered by me as the best most supportive group of so and so I've run across on the internet. Combine that with it being stocked by fans of one of the best (and sadly kind of underappreciated) comics in the world and you've got a big bucket of awesome peeps that I couldn't ignore telling about my newest project.

I have as of a few months ago been brought on as a new writer for http://endoftheworldcomic.com/ A webcomic with an over 400 page history that has been struggling for quite a while. With bringing me on board the team at EOTW has renewed it's intrest in creating quality stories with a healthy mix of character focused drama and cornball humor.

I ain't going to lie, the comic has been spotty at times and since I'm an inexperienced newb I will probably make a few mistakes here and there myself. Still everyone working on it is super nice and really cares about telling a good story.

I would like anyone who is so inclined to go over there and have a look at the comic (I would recommend reading the entire back history if you can stand to just because I'm making use of all of the previous continuity going forward) and use the comments section and the (currently dead as a doornail) forums to tell me what you think.

http://endoftheworldcomic.com/ needs awesome, intelligent, and active fans to survive and I couldn't think of a better bunch to ask then right here.

Now hopefully I'll be around here more often in return. *bookmarks it to remind himself.*

sent in a private message thingy.

Yeah but i wouldn't trust this kind of stuff with larger more popular forums. I don't care if i'd be more likely to find people who would do a 'better job' I just want people who ain't jerks. The well of people to work with runs dry no matter where I go. At least posting my script here didn't get a thousand people saying 'lol lern to writ newb' like on some other forums. So it's a net gain leastways.

*looks over the collected drawings, claps* Mad skillz is you.

The silence! It buuuurns!

I'm not really sure outside of the obvious art direction of the chibi segments. I think I want it to have sort of a sketchy vibe as it would benefit the overall story for things to feel a little unreal and chaotic, but their are too many possibilities for me to narrow down completely so alot of it is going to rely on what artist(s) i end up with.

*Panel of the outside of a swank mansion.

Nar: We've raised 3 million dollars tonight to benefit the homeless and disenfranchised on table cost alone. Not to mention the generous donations of many of our patrons which we have yet to fully count.

*Panel of the inside of an upscale party in the ballroom of said swank mansion. A large open area is surrounded by many support colums. The open area is populated by a decently large set of tables of about 4 sets each. At the head of the party with his back to a large set of windows is a man standing at a poduim speaking into the microphone.

Man: We can all be proud to say we are doing a service.

*A womans lips sipping at champaign

Man: A service to humanity.

*A man's mouth biting into a steak. Applause of 'clap clap clap' circling the panel.

Man: enjoy the rest of the night.

*A hobo walking along the tables, catching a surprised and confused set of looks from the rich people at the table.

Man: The night is still young.

*more hobos walking all along the tables. One is stopped at a table taking a steak off of a man's plate with his grubby hand. The man, naturally, looks furious.

*Shot of the same scene, with the hobo now eating the steak. In the background glee is darting forward past the tables.

*forward look of glee ducked down in a full on sprint, the revolver in her hand and a mean sort of smile on her face.

*Glee in the air, leaping at the man addressing the crowd over the podium.

Glee: CHANCE!

*Glee landing on the man knees first against his chest.

*view from the crowd, nothing can be seen behind the podium. A 'whump' sound effect eminating from behind it.

Random crowd members: "What the hell?" "What is this?" "I was eating that!" "got any change?"

*same view of the podium. Shuffling heard behind it and a 'click'

Crowd: "Oh I think I know that guy. Used to work at that bank that got bought out." "The show's worth the price of admission at least." "Yes I could spare some."

*Glee and the man she tackled finally pop up behind the podium. She has a hand around his back holding his collar while the other hand holds the gun to his head. He looks befuddled and a little scared.

Glee: Hello ladies and gents.

*Glee smiles cutely, slightly tugging at her captive's collar.

Glee: These things are so much heavier then you would think. I'd like to thank the guards. Who were too busy playing go fish to avoid being knocked out by empty beer bottles.

*the crowd, transfixed on the scene. Except for the bums who are stuffing their faces rather happily, one bum who is happily counting a wad of money, and one unidentified young man who is ducking into the crowd from near where the bum with money is standing.

Glee: I'm told I should start with a joke during these things.

*scene of a few of the colums from the other side that's facing away from the crowd. What looks like circuit board based light brights, one showing a cartoonish middle finger the other showing a similar mockup of a hand giving a thumbs up

Glee: how about 'how does the idiot in the costume cross the ballroom and not get arrested.

*Close up of Glee's widely smiling mouth.

Glee: She sets up a bunch of bombs that will go off if anyone tries anything.

*Glee looking thoughtful

Glee: Damn....i need to work on my jokes. That SUCKED.

*Glee looking more perky

Glee: oh well. I might as well tell you all why i'm doing this before I split.

*close up of the gun from how it would look if you were the captive's cheek or something, looking at the front of the gun all of it's chambers are obviously loaded.

Glee: I just thought that since you all are so interested in the plight of the poor. Surely you wouldn't mind giving them some of your rich people food.

*Bums walking out of the doors with armfuls of food and various bits of booze. One man seems to have brought a shopping cart he's completely filled.

Glee: I mean if any of you were to say....take your table price back from the charity after not getting your dinner, for example...

*Close up of glee's mouth, a bit more twisted with some frustration.

Glee: Why you'd be goddamn hypocrites wouldn't you?

*Stalker brushes past a bum on his way into the ballroom through the door as all the bums continue to leave.

Glee: Oh stalker is here? Now the party can REALLY start.
*Glee looking a little smug. Grinding the gun into the scared captive's temple.

Glee: I was just saying that the place is bombed and all that. I have a hostage and so forth. Blah blah blah.

*Glee looks mock surprised.

Glee: I see you didn't make a dramatic entrance!

*Glee and Stalker facing down a couple of yards from each other

Glee: guess you didn't want to cause any damage to your rich pal's windows or skylight huh?

*Stalker, with his arms crossed.

Stalker: What the hell is your problem?

*Glee looking mock hurt.

Glee: Oh you didn't miss me while I was gone?

*Close up of stalker's face deadpanning

Stalker: It was a good year....didn't expect you to take my rejection this personally.

*Glee looking a bit angry now. Letting got of the man's collar to gesture very slightly outward

Glee: this isn't about us! This is about the caviar chuggers here.

*Stalker uncrossing his arms.

Glee: Don't any of you realise how much of the world's problems would be solved if you would all be happy with an upper middle class lifestyle?

*Panel of where stalker was standing, just a glance of him in the scene as he is on the move.

Glee: God forbid any of you eat food that doesn't cost an average person's yearly salary!

*Glee looking surprised as stalker is suddenly jumping down twoard her. Having gotten more height then she could manage off of vaulting the podium.

Glee: eep

*Glee being biffed in the face, her gun hand flailing as she reflexively fires a shot. Said shot goes 'bang'

*Glee landing on her side a few feet away.  immediately starting to scramble , her captive still standing. Stalker landing nearby.

*Glee scrambling away from the window as she fishes out something.
Glee: Fine! Justice triumphs huh?

*Glee pressing the button as she covers her head.

*Stalker blown backward as an explosion takes out a section of the wall

*Glee stepping over the momentarily out cold stalker.

*Glee looking over the table at a few rich people. Who look positively stunned

*Glee taking a plate with some steak and a bottle of wine.

Glee: yeah that's about it.

*Glee walks out of the hole the explosion made. Carrying her meal

Glee: Honestly you people make me sick. Go to a goddamn steakhouse and give the rest of the money strait to someone who needs it.

*Glee dissappearing into the night.

Glee: Rich people always have to make everything they do a gala event.

*First person POV of stalker opening his eyes.

*same POV of stalker's eyes fully open looking up at a bunch of the rich people looking down at him, stunned.

Random guy: you alright?

*Stalker stands amidst the crowd.

Stalker: Yeah, hit my head after the blast knocked me over. Gotta find those bombs.

*Stalker in the background looking around as the hostage man stands still as if he still has the gun to his head. Still in shock. No one seems to give a crap.

*Stalker looks at the light bright with a middle finger

*Stalker looks a bit agitated.

Stalker: Fakes.

*Stalker walking out as one of the guests follows to inquire of him.

Guest: how do you know it's a fake.

*Stalker most of the way out the door,

Stalker: I know bombs.

*Full page spread of Glee sitting at a ramshackle table in a dilapidated looking room with a bunch of the hobos from the party. She's eating while nursing her head with an ice pack and looking mopey while the hobos are laughing and carrying on as they eat.

Glee(thought bubble) I can't do anything right.

*Kate walking down an alley while it is snowing, a younger age in this scene. It is nighttime.

*a man appears in frame behind Kate with a gun in hand.

*the man, scruffy and unclean, approaches closer, Kate not noticing.

*the man suddenly reaches out to Kate's shoulder.

*Kate turns around to face the gun, a revolver, pointed in her face.

Man: Give me your money!

*Kate looks stunned, her eyes focused on the gun as she is a bit frozen in place

Kate: o...okay I don't have much.

*First person view, complete with film grain from before, of the gun tilting to the right of her vision, momentarily not pointed directly at her head as the man looks surprised and a bit infuriated.
Man: A well dressed kid like you and you don't have much?

*first person view with Kate's arms suddenly grabbing his arm and the handle of the gun, pushing further toward the right as the gun goes off.

*First person view, an EEEEEEEE sound effect over things with an after burn of the gun's flash at the same place the flash was in the last panel as Kate's foot hits the man's gut and her hands are prying the gun out of his hands

Man: ----!!!

*first person view, with the EEEE still happening and the after burn still there, the gun now in Kate's hands, shaking as it's pointed at the man

caption at the top of the panel: Why are you robbing people?

Man: ---??

*Kate's face from the man's point of view, looking down the barrel of the gun, her eyes are a bit wild and her mouth is twisted in anger and confusion.

Kate: You heard me!! ANSWER ME!

*Same view from the man's point of view. Kate's hands are shaking but the gun remains firmly pointed at the man.

Man: I lost my job and my home and I gotta eat.

*Side view of the man and Kate in this stand off.

Kate: And you can't get another job...

*the man raises his hands a bit now with the gun still pointed at him.

Man: people don't hire hobos.

Kate: Yeah...you look and smell bad.

*Panel with the two of them remaining in position, not moving as Kate thinks.

*Kate reaches into her purse, her other hand still with the gun pointed at him

*Kate digging through her purse with her eyes and guns still on the man.

Man: What are you doing?

*Kate holds out a money clip with a few bills in it, a twenty on the outside

Kate: I'm buying your gun. 30 is all I have.
*the man looks confused as he takes the money clip with the gun still pointed at him.

Kate: Now let's get out of here before the cops show up because of the gun shot.

*The both of them turn and start running in opposite directions, The man pocketing the money and Kate putting the gun in her purse. The man seems rather surprised, as if he just figured out that the cops were going to be here. Kate meanwhile looks a little frazzled but stoic.

---

*View of Kate's eyes opening in the daytime in her room, having slept in her chair.

*View pans out to show her in her chair, sighing and looking still rather worn out.

*Chibi on a white background, holding a remote

Chibi: Fast fooooorwaaard!

*various panels of Kate going through her life for a few days, wake up, work, dinner at home, sewing, sleep. Details change here and there but it's obvious it's all the same for her and she is going through the motions because her position in the corresponding panel for each day is unchanged and her expression remains inert.

*white panel of Chibi-Kate again, her head tilted and looking thoughtful

Chibi: Gee I wish I had that trick for real.

*Chibi Kate shaking a fist at the sky on the white background

Chibi: Damn you, Time Space Continuum!!!

–

*Kate in front of the TV. Hunched over a bowl of cereal, shoveling it into her mouth while she watches TV.

TV: The vigilante known as The Stalker is believed to be responsible for foiling the robbery.

*Kate speaking, her eyes still fixated on the TV and her mouth partly full of cereal

Kate: yu gd dum rught hi ish.

*Kate swallows

*Kate taps her chin with her spoon

*Panel of a list with Chibi standing in the corner scribbling on a notepad. The list is as follows
Kate's Happy Fun Time Halloween to do list

1.Wake up. Pwnd
2.eat cereal and preserve sanity with life giving TVs Pwnd
3.go to work (fucking hell. Short day short day. Happy thoughts calmblueocean)
4.get dressed all Halloweeny
5.advertising excursion (partaaaay! Hoaaah!)
6.avoid punching dad in the face
7.sleep

*Chibi looking up from the notepad to the audience

Chibi: I'm keeping my fingers crossed on number six.

*Kate walking in a silly way on the streets with a backpack, whistling and happy.

*Kate riding the bus still whistling and happy, the crippled guy from earlier looking annoyed in the foreground

*Kate lifting a heavy box at work, looking very strained with her eyes halfway bugging out, still whistling, it being off tune and her lips straining to whistle as much as her arms are straining to lift.

*Kate walking on the streets again, still with the backpack, whistling while hunched over and looking exhausted.

*An interior of a costume party, looks to be large but a sort of middle class affair. The door is being knocked on.

*A young man walks to the door

*the man opens the door. Revealing Kate looking into the party itself, avoiding his gaze.

Man: oh? Came as a retail slave?

*Kate pushes past him.

Kate: Haha, where's the bathroom?

*Kate is off panel as the man points her twoard the bathroom

Man: it's the second door on the left.

Kate(off panel): Ah, hello drunkard

*Man raising an eyebrow

Kate(off panel):no I would not like to see it. I consider the dual inventions of pants and underpants to be a very important part of society.

*Kate locking the bathroom door

*Kate beginning to take off her shirt.

*Chibi jumping in front of the scene, obscuring Kate's continued undressing

Chibi: And now, for the duration!

*a scene of a basket full of puppies.

UVB: PUPPIES!!!

*Kate, now dressed in an outfit that is a modest recreation of the stalker's outfit, walking out of the bathroom.

*Kate looking around noticing everyone muttering to each other about her.

Person 1: is that supposed to be the stalker?

Person 2: yeah that vigilante who's been running around

Person 3: I just threw up on my shoes.

Person 4: Watermelon, nice to meet you.

*Kate leaning against the wall and watching the milling masses for the moment, muttering to herself. In the background someone dressed as a watermelon is talking to someone else

Kate: I never get used to people looking at me....

Watermelon: Nice to meet you too.

*A further away shot of the milling party with Kate in the midst of it, shaking someones hand.

*Kate smiling and handing a woman a card.

*Kate staring off panel with an agitated look on her face.

Kate: Didn't we already talk about you keeping your pants on?

–
*scene of the party winding down, Kate and watermelon speaking to each other over drinks.

Kate: Well that is true to an extent but you'd be naïve to think that enough politicians are idealistic to really make that much of a difference against the corrupt ones. It's not as if either political party has much on it's mind except perpetuating itself.

*Watermelon looking at his watch as Kate keeps talking

Kate: The republicans just get the worse rap because they have a surplus of near dead racists and people afraid of the gays in their midst.
*Watermelon speaks as Kate continues speaking while waggling her fingers in a derogitory fashion (as best she can while still holding her drink)

Kate: Both sides have good and bad ideas but are largely just concerned with crushing the other side for no reason but that enough of them think the other side is eeeevil.

Watermelon: I've gotta call it a night.

*Kate looking slightly disappointed, lifting her glass twoard her face

Kate: Oh, well okay you have my card.

*Kate taking a drink as watermelon walks away.

*Kate sighing a bit.

*Kate picking up her bag in the bathroom

*Kate walking down the street at night, still in her costume and looking exhausted.

*Kate looking tense as she hears a scream.

*Kate peeking around a corner almost childishly as another scream comes.

*A woman surrounded by three men, one with a knife. Her clothing is torn and her face is bruised.

Man 1: Shut up or i'll shut you up!

*one of the men's face as he leers at the woman

Man 2: I could shut her up.

*the man looking taken aback as the third man pipes up.

Man 3: dude I know what you are thinking, but doing this kind of shit in the mouth is dumb. Mouth has teeth, teeth will bite.

*the man sneering as the other one reasons with him

Man 2: We'd mess her up if she bit down.

Man 3: You don't want to risk it dude, just gag the bitch and forget it.

*All three men looking surprised as a click is sounded.

Kate(off panel): Just forget the whole damn thing.

*Kate holding the Revolver she bought from the mugger, cocked. She is still in costume.

Kate: This is just too much.

*Shot over the men's shoulders as Kate continues pointing the gun at them.

Man 1: there's no damn way...who the hell is this?

Man 3: some stalker wannabe?

Kate: Rape? Are you goddamn serious?

*shot of the men muttering to each other.

Man 2: Stalker doesn't use guns.

Man 3: she seems to.

*Man 1 advancing past the other 2

Man 1: this is just some chick in a halloween costume boys.

*Kate pointing the gun at man 1 as he advances.

Kate: At least with robbers they might need the money.

*Kate looking a bit crazed

Kate: but you don't NEED to do this to her!!

*Kate yelling

Kate: Haven't you idiots heard of masturbation???

*Man 1 pulls a semi automatic on Kate with her looking surprised.

Man 1: I'll do what I want bitch. You don't have any bullets in that gun.

*shot of the front of the gun, showing that it's clearly visable that all the chambers of the revolver are empty except the one obscured by the barrel.

*shot of Kate looking nervous

Kate: You don't know that for sure....i could have one bullet.

*Man 1 cocks his own hammer.

Man 1: You shouldn't start shit if you don't have the guts to load your gun.

*Man 1 screaming as the gun is knocked out of his hand by a booted foot. From out of nowhere to his side.
*Man 1's head crushed against the ground face first by a gloved hand

*Man 3 being KOed with a hit to the head as Man 2 runs like hell.

*shot of Kate's face as she is pulling off her mask.

Kate: Oh hell.

*Shot of stalker standing with his back to Kate, who is visable over his shoulder.

Kate: No way....

*stalker talking to the woman who was almost raped.

Stalker: Call the police.

*Kate looking at Stalker's back, a bit dwarfed by the dark figure, putting her gun back in her bag nervously.

Kate: Yeah....

*Stalker turns to Kate, startling her.

Stalker: Now you....

*Kate looking nervous as Stalker glares at her a bit.

Kate: I'm sorry I just wanted to stop them and didn't know they had a gun anddidn'tthinkaboutminenotbeingloadedand...

Stalker:You could have gotten her killed if I hadn't come along.

*Kate frowns a bit.

Kate: I really appreciate what you do....

*Stalker looks a bit skeptical

Stalker: what?

*Kate looks up to him, a bit forceful now.

Kate: I could help. I want to do something that means something.

*Stalker sneers.

Stalker: I don't have time for this.


*Kate looks a bit more insistent and frantic.

Kate: I have no friends, my job sucks, and I am a dissapointment to my family.

*Stalker looks incredulous as Kate continues, starting to get worked up.

Kate: I feel like I need to change the whole damn world to prove myself to anyone but I can't even get out of bed some mornings.

*Kate's face as she tears up

Kate: When I go to sleep some nights I can hear my mother playing piano and I like to fantisize that she's doing it to help me sleep when I know that she could give a shit about me.

*Kate looks confused for a moment, shaking her head.

Kate: no, I mean....I...

*Kate hangs her head.

Kate: I can't do anything or be of any use to anyone on my own. I need a chance to......

*Head shot of Stalker looking passive

Kate (off panel): Justify my existence.

*Stalker crosses his arms and stares Kate down a bit.

*Stalker speaks

Stalker: I don't do this to salvage a shattered ego.

*Kate's head still hangs

Stalker: It's not about being better or more valid then other people. I work to make sure normal people can live in peace.

*Kate cringes a bit as she starts to look up

Stalker (off panel): Not to encourage them to act like idiots.

*Stalker turns his back as Kate mutters.

Kate: it's not that simple....

*Stalker ties up the thugs who he's knocked out, the woman in the background on her cell phone

Stalker: If you want to prove to the world that you are worth something. You can make something honest and decent of yourself instead of living in a fantasy world where you have some excuse for running from your troubles.

*Kate seems enraged now. Speaking louder.

Kate: It's not that simple! Society doesn't want people like me!!

*Stalker stands, his back still to Kate.

Stalker: That's one thing we have in common if it's true.

*Stalker looks back over his shoulder to Kate.

Stalker: Your inability to join normal society is no one's fault but your own though. Don't act like the world owes you anything.

*Stalker fires some sort of grapple-dealy

Stalker: Things aren't going to work out just because you are HOPEING real hard.

*Stalker is away in a black dramatic blur as Kate looks a bit burnt out.

*Kate walks out of the alley, the woman waving after her

Woman: Hey, wait!

*Kate keeps walking

*Kate walking down the street by herself.

*Kate turning into an alley.

*Kate reaching into her bag as she sits down on the ground with her back against a wall.

*Kate pulls out the revolver again.

* pulls out a bullet

* loads it onto one of the revolvers chambers.

*spins the barrel of the revolver.

*flicks the revolver closed.

*cocks the hammer.

*Puts the gun in her mouth

*Pulls the trigger.

*Panel of Kate sitting there with the gun in her mouth, looking dazed and with her head noticably not blown off.

*Kate having just pulled the gun from between her teeth

*Kate staring at the gun

*A panel of fire

*Kate opening the revolver

*A panel of a skull

*Kate spinning the barrel.

*Kate flicking the revolver closed

*A Panel of dancing kitty covering her eyes.

*Kate placing the gun in her mouth again.

*Kate thumbing the hammer back

*Chibi looking glum and holding up a white flag.

*Kate's eyes widening in a close up as the revolver clicks, once again with no head asplode

*Panel of the Beaver looking at the 'camera' of the panel with a surprised look on it's face as it is fucking the skull from a few panels ago.

*Kate looming over the gun in her hands with a grimace on her face

Kate: what the hell?

*Kate spining the barrel again

Kate: It's obviously time.

*Kate closing the revolver

Kate: don't mince around the issue.

*Kate putting the gun in her mouth.

*click.

*Kate standing now, fuming as she spins the barrel again.

Kate: I have nothing to offer
*Kate cocking the hammer again.

Kate: What would I accomplish?

*Kate putting the gun in her mouth and pulling the trigger.

*Kate starting to cry as she spins the barrel again. Her teeth gritted in frustration

Kate: What could I fix?

*Kate putting putting the gun in her mouth as she pulls the trigger.

*Kate putting her hands on her head, with the gun still in her hands.

Kate: They have to be right.

*Panel of a stupid looking man smiling like he's on T.V.

Man: 300 million people can't be wrong!

*Man looking surprised as he hears a click off panel

*A bullet going through the man's forehead.

*The barrel being spun by a hand.

Kate: Who

*the gun going between the teeth

Kate: could 

*click

*the barrel being spun

Kate: I

*the gun going into the mouth

Kate: SAVE??

*click.

*Kate sitting back down

*Kate looking up with her hands on her knees. Looking tired and emotionally drained

*Kate closing her eyes.
Of p
*Close up of Kate's closed eyes.

Nar: What now?

*Panel of chibi throwing her hands in the air in celebration

Chibi: AN INTERMISSION!!!

*Panel with colorful letters that read intermission in a childish crayon scrawl.

*Chibi holding popcorn and soda over her head.

Chibi: Don't forget to visit our concession area!.

*Chibi pauses in thought for a moment, looking above her at the food.

Chibi: wait?...this isn't a movie right?

*Chibi holds the popcorn at normal carrying height now

Chibi: I forgot...

*Chibi looking thoughtful

Chibi: because I just thought everything was so cinematic and engaging.

*Chibi glaring intimidatingly at the reader.

Chibi: Like you surely did.

*Chibi zoning out blissfully as she eats popcorn.

*Chibi still zoned out as she sips soda.

*Chibi waves the reader away.

Chibi: Carry on.

*Chibi keeps eating.

–

 Glee 1 Second concept draft

*= panel description
UVB- unattached voice bubble?

*Close up head shot of a smiling TV announcer type. His face is nearly half teeth he's smiling so wide

TV guy: HELLO VIEWERS!

*mid section up shot of a seated creative type in a homey work space

Creative guy: You have to do something to catch their attention at the beginning. A slow start can be the death of-

*View of Chibi, holding a sign that reads 'high concept'

Chibi: Lookit me!

*picture of two women arguing in the middle of a clean looking suburban house.

Unattached voice bubble: REALITY

*same scene of  two women arguing from a different angle

UTB: REALITY

*same scene pulled back to show the camera crew operating the two cameras the two previous shots were shot from

UTB: REALITY SHOW!!!!

*Chibi holding up another sign that reads 'I used to be loved'

Chibi: You need more interesting fare?

*an immature looking cartoon portrayal of a beaver with it's crotch pressed to the cap of an oversized mushroom

UTB: Here's a beaver fucking a mushroom!

*A scruffy looking guy holding a beer in his hand as if showing it off for a commercial.

Guy: That's fresh!



*view of a car exploding

UTB: Explosions...

*view of a large building exploding

UTB: are...

*view of a nuclear mushroom cloud

UTB: AWESOME

*The cartoon beaver superimposed in a shoddy looking way to look like he's fucking the mushroom cloud.

* a professional looking man in a suit sitting in front of what looks like a talk show set.

Man: We have to improve ourselves.

* a man with money raining behind him

Man: We make what sells.

*a shallow looking teenage girl with a wad of cash in her hand.

Girl: I love this store! They have everything!

*Chibi holding up a sign that reads 'I'm used, to be loved.'

*Kate sitting on the toilet in the bathroom of the store, dressed in standard employee garb with her eyes staring forward without looking at anything

*Kate standing off the toilet. Mumbling to herself

Kate: deep breaths

*Kate in the same position but with her face screwed up in a soundless scream

*Kate looking in the bathroom  mirror at her own burned out emotionless face with the faucet running in the sink she is leaning against

*Kate Sneering into the mirror

*Kate splashing water onto her face from the sink

*Kate staring blankly at herself in the mirror again.

*Kate slamming her face into the mirror in an explosion of glass with her teeth gritted and blood flying dramatically.

*Kate staring blankly at the still intact mirror with her face cut up and imbeded with shards of broken glass

*Kate staring at the mirror with a normal unmarred face but with a more haunted expression on her face.

*Kate washing her face again.

-

*Kate putting on a forced smile when talking to a customer, pointing out something they are looking for. She isn't showing teeth but the smile is good natured enough.

*white panel with black letters that read "8 hours a day"

*Kate lifting a rather large box with a 'team lift' sticker on it by herself with a grimace on her face

*Another text panel that reads "5 days a week"

*Kate scanning an item in the back room of the store with a dull expression on her face.

*text panel that reads "pay per hour: 7.25"

*Kate stocking the shelves with random foodstuffs.

*text panel: current average for emotional breakdowns a week: 2

*Close up of Kate's face looking calm and good natured

*text panel of a mathematical formula that states that if a person makes 290 dollars a week and has 2 panic attacks a week that each last 30 min then each minute of the panic attack would earn he/she a total of $4.8333333(repeating)

*Pulled out scene of the calm and good natured Kate with an overweight and scruffy woman screaming point blank in her face at the top of her lungs

*Text panel: "minimum wage going rate per minute of panic attack: about $4.83"

*Kate turning and walking away with the woman still yelling, looking distraught.

*Text panel: More suffering will likely increase revenue. Suggestion: a more difficult job.

*panel of Kate back in the bathroom washing her face.

--

*panel of Kate getting off the bus in a suburban neighborhood.

*Kate turning back toward the bus to watch a man without legs in a wheelchair being let off the bus in a slower fashion.
*The man meets Kate's gaze

*Kate smiles a bit nervously

*The man sneers

Man: What the hell are you looking at?

*Kate turns away, the smile still plastered on her face as she walks away hurriedly

Kate: Nothing...

*Kate seen facing the reader. She is noticeably younger (around 17 or so) and the scene is portrayed with bright colors and a happy blue sky is in the background past a set of playground monkey bars. She is dressed in a t shirt and a short skirt and is smiling genuinely and relaxed.

*Kate turns to begin climbing the monkey bars.

*Kate is halfway up the monkey bars, the viewpoint has remained the same except tilting upward as it remains centered on Kate as she is climbing, giving a low angle view up her skirt at her panties.

UVB: Hey get down from there, I can see your butt.

*Kate adjusts her position on the top of the monkey bars to get her knees hooked over a bar.

Kate: That's always the way it is. You get higher then someone else and you are in the perfect position to crap on them. Don't take it personal

UTB: Yeah but...

*Kate is suddenly hanging upside down from the bars by her knees, her arms spread in a bit of an appeal to the view.

Kate: See? Now I've turned it upside down. This way I can only spit on you.

*The view gets a bit blurry around the edges as Kate looks a bit taken aback.

Kate: uh...well it's an improvement isn't it?

*Kate looks genuinely worried now as the blurring around the edges is a bit worse.

*Kate drops from the monkey bars in a bit of  nasty fall.

Kate: Hey!

*Kate scrambles over toward the view on her hands and knees hurriedly

Kate: Why are you crying?


*Kate puts her hands on the shoulders of the person whom the view is supposedly a first person perspective of.

UTB: It's nothing...Just crap with my father.

*Kate looks nearly to tears herself, still holding the person's shoulders

Kate: Listen. You are my best friend and you can tell me anything okay? Don't be afraid to ask for help. I'm always going to be there for you.

*view is suddenly further away from Kate, with her grasping at air and looking surprised.

*View is now of a completely different, sort of barren looking landscape with a tiny cartoonish dot with a cartoon arrow to it that indicates '2000 miles away, you are here'

Kate( represented by the dot): heh....


*Kate in current day, standing alone in the same playground, the atmosphere is the same sort of quiet cloudy gloom that is usually associated with her these days. She is looking blankly into the distance with a sort of dead expression on her face.

Kate: That's a good one....

*Kate walks away from the playground, her back to the monkey bars and her head sort of staring at the ground in front of her

Kate: Really goddamn hilarious.

--

*close up of Kate's lips at the end of a drinking straw with a 'slurp' sound.

*Kate's father, a middle aged stuffed shirt who's slightly overweight sneering as he looks at his plate of food, playing with it with his fork.

Father: Leeches

*A cartoony leech, being burned by a disembodied cigar

UVB: You have to burn it off to save your HP!

*Kate giving a slight chuckle to herself as she looks at her own food with the same absent minded and non committal playing with her fork.

*Kate looking startled as she looks across the table.

Father(off panel): What the hell are you laughing about?
*Father, staring with no small loathing across the table, jabbing his fork in Kate's direction

Father: You're one of them you know, dropout.

*Kate's lips on the straw again 'slurp'

*Kate leaning back up from her glass after taking the drink, looking a bit nervous

Kate: I'm working on something....college just isn't my thing.

*Kate's mother, a rather unassuming and dull middle aged woman with a lot of make up, nodding knowingly as she takes a bite of her own food

Father (off panel): Not your thing? What exactly IS your thing? Because it sure doesn't seem to be hard work!

*Kate takes another drink, her face is visible with her brow furrowed. 'sluuuurp'

*Panel used previously of Kate lifting a team lift box by herself

*Kate looking thoughtful

Kate: You know, you're right, hard work isn't my thing.

*Kate's mom looking toward her out of the corner of her eye while still eating, looking a bit incredulous

Father (off panel) Oh really? You're not one for hard work then?

*Surreal scene of a burning school building

UVB: Why do I feel like smiling?

*Father slamming his hands down on the table, looking rather angry now

Father: Are you just going to leave all the hard work for the good people then?

*Kate looking up with a kind of dazed expression.

*Father leaning forward

Father: ANSWER ME!

*Beaver fucking Father's head...in the ear no less. While a swirl of random images surrounds his head, partially of amusing cartoons, partially of crying people, and scenes of mayhem

UVB: I just want to smile and laugh and be happy and make them all sorry

*Kate sucking on the straw with no liquid left in the glass, only a tiny tiny 'slurp'
*Kate stands, with a sort of half grimace half smile on her face, 
Kate: You know dad

*Kate spreading her arms out to her sides

Kate: I will leave it to good people...

*Kate's face getting more tense with her smile as she points at her father.

Kate: like you.

*Kate leaning forward on the table

Kate: I will leave it to good people to fill good jobs and make good families and think good thoughts,

*Kate slamming her hands on the table and screaming with her eyes wide and mad looking as distorted images swirl around

Kate: AND FUCKING DO SOMETHING MEANINGFUL WITH MY LIFE INSTEAD!

*Kate is suddenly smacked in the back of her head by her mother

*Kate being smacked in the back of her head by her mother while fumbling with a piano when she was very young

*Kate being smacked in the back of the head by her mother during a family picture, in her early teens.

*Kate being smacked in the back of her head by her mother with her hair dyed a funny color, a bit younger then she is now.

*Kate holding the back of her head back in the present with her head down and her hair covering her eyes.

*Kate's father looking a bit stunned.

*Kate walking away with her head down.

–

*Panel of text "And now for a break!"

*Panel of a dancing cartoon cat.

Cat: Oh I'm a happy happy kitty cat.

*Cat doing a twirl

Cat: I'm not a meanie, don't worry bought that.

*Cat doing a ballet jump

Cat: I've got no cares, as you can see.

*Cat posing after the jump

Cat: I'll be your friend and....

*Cat looking startled, frozen in the previous position

Voice from off panel: YOU'RE A PUSSY!

*Cat still in the same position, looking glum

Cat:....Cat.

--

*Kate's mouth next to a cell phone mouthpiece

Kate: What did you want to be when you were in elementary school?

Phone: uhm....an astronaut I guess.

*Kate leaning her head to hold the outdated looking cell phone to her head using her shoulder as she focuses on something below her off panel. She is in her room.

Kate: Yeah theirs only a handful of people who ever get to do that. At least with doctor or fireman you would have had some numerical possibility.

Phone: what's your point?

*Kate leaning over a bit of sewing, a rather fantastical looking princess style dress, still talking on the precariously balanced phone

Kate: I'm just sorry that society had to crush your dream. The world we live in needs to keep a large percentage of the population from greatness just to survive...i mean their always has to be trash men and factory workers.

*Kate holds up the dress to get a better look at it, squinting one eye for no obvious reason

Phone: Look, do you want to order a pizza or not?

*Kate puts a hand back on the phone as she sets the dress down.

Kate: nah, I'm good.

*Kate hangs up the phone.

*Kate sees the phone ring just after she hung it up, slightly surprised.

*Kate opens the phone again

Kate: Yeellow?

*Kate pauses, listening

*Kate rolls her office chair over to her computer

Kate: yeah sure I'm almost done with it.

*Kate brings up a text file with a list of names, money amounts, and costumes associated with said names and money amounts

Kate: Can't rush perfection, you'll look like a princess or I'll die trying.

*Kate leans back in the chair, running a hand through her hair

Kate: Yeah well it will beat the crap out of those tissue thin pieces of crap you see at retail stores and will last you a hell of a lot longer

*Kate sits up and continues browsing the computer

Kate: Yeah I have to go. It will be ready to pick up in two days or whenever you can come after that. Tell your friends for god sake. I need more local customers.

*Kate looks a bit demure

Kate: yeah...you'll be telling them when they gush over how good you look in it. Mark my words madam. Toodles.

*Kate hangs up the phone while still looking at something on the computer.

*A view of the comment section on a web page bannered 'Kate's delusional costuming' with the slogan "Who would you rather be today?" The comment section has a comment by someone going by the name 'SoylentPink' saying "Just got mine in the mail. The attention to detail is fantastic and it fits great."

*Kate types in a response

*Kate's response under it, using the nick 'Important businesswoman' "Satisfied customer number 17, one step closer to world domination."

*Kate sighs a bit and leans back in her seat




*first person POV of Kate's vision as she stares up at a 'motivational' poster of a man hanging on the edge of a rope bridge by his hands over a boiling volcano with the phrase "hang in there, fucker" The view is marred by a filter of transparent colored specs over the view that are kind of like a neon film grain. In the bottom right hand corner is a white spec that's larger then the colored dots.

*first person POV of her eyes half closed, the same scene through partially closed eyes, the film grain effect remains in the dark parts where her eyelids obscure her vision.

*blank panel with the grain still intact

*outer view of Kate with her eyes closed

–

It's not beyond the realm of possibility. I'm currently casting my net wide to see whom i can snare but if multiple people are interested in a full on collaberative effort that could help get the comic off the ground. The big issue would be that if i'm going to do it professionally i wouldn't be able to fund such a large scale art team over the entire comic's line and remain profitable so after the comic 'took off' i would have to rethink how I did things. But that's a cross that bridge if I come to it sort of thing. If people are willing to respect my decisions as creative overlord and i felt i needed to get a team together i wouldn't be opposed. I still have too many possibilities at this point to commit to anything though so just because i'm entertaining the idea offers no guarantees ya kna ^.^.

For now lemme throw up the first issue script to get people's opinions on it. It's a very....ambitious comic I would say. In that I attempt to use a storytelling style that shirks convention to an extent to avoid being stale. I've been told it's hard to follow by some and fine by others so it seems to be slightly subjective. My only advice is to try to visualise each panel rather then simply reading it like a script. Also pardon the dirty words if you are offended easily and/or this place has no swearing filter.

*notes for comic readability

UTB= unattached voice bubble. People have to imply who is saying this voice by what they are saying as it connects to no direction.

Chibi= Chibi anime version of Kate.

Glee= Kate's terrorist persona. Basically her in an as yet undecided jester like costume. No attempt at all is made to obscure her face and the costume is noticeably less theatrical and eye catching then your average villian character.

Thanks for the welcomes and as for Micki, my needs for the comic are a very consistent style (not neccisarily a detailed one) that can be reproduced in those specific poses and perspectives you claim to suck at. So you're probably right that it wouldn't work out but i appreciate you being honest and bothering to reply. What I really need is consistency...well the two things I need are consistency and constant availability...well the three things I need are consistency, availability, and flexibility....well the four things I need are consistency, availability, flexibility, and innovative style.

I needs a lot of things but i can also compromise on some things for the betterment of the working relationship. If i'm not going to be paying someone to work on my comic they have to have positive reasons to WANT to work on the comic after all ^.^

PS. well besides eventually making money off of the comic if i gets off of the ground...but you know how that is always a shot in the dark.

Hello and salutations to the members of the Excel Saga Communities creative task force. I am that person who is that person you barely know!

I was an active member of the forums a few years back when i first really started getting into excel saga and was also getting started on my, so far stagnent, writing career. I really appreciated the support and constructive critisism I got from all of y'all as compared to other creativity forums i've been privy to and decided that in my hour of need what better place would I go to then that forum i really liked but barely was a part of? It's such a perfect plan I can't imagine how it would fail!!!!

Anywho to bidness. I am currently attempting to create a professional grade (probably underground) comic book. The problem is finding a reliable and talented artist is a pain in my bum parts and I draw about as well as I spell. I just not two minutes ago fired my current artist for talking to me all of one e-mail every two weeks (i have abandonment issues) and i was wondering if anyone wanted to undertake a long term artistic commitment to someone else's mad writing vision for possibly no pay?!

The comic book is about a friendly little emo terrorist girl named Glee on a suicide mission to punish the world for being unjust and corrupt with greed and her dealings with society at large and resident batman ripoff Stalker. I try to have the book have some humor but I also want it to be an analasis of revolutionary sentiment and the morality of economic concepts warring for dominance in the modern world (the old socialsim vs capitolism debate...only with more spandex and punching) It will slowly evolve and branch out as a story while maintaining the core themes as much as possible and throwing in various twists. I wouldn't mind posting my mostly finished script of the first issue but it is very cursewordy and I forget the forums policy on that....oh and i dun want anyone to see it until i know someone is at least interested in helping my poor and artistless butt. Feel free to ask questions and for lords sake HEEEELP! The fate of the very world depends on it!!!!!

Well no not really but I would appreciate assistance.